Session 160 (Homlett) Day 27
Dear Diary 💖
Elmo decides to play tour guide and drag us around the “town” to kill some time before the vendors open. Granted, “town” is a very generous word for this place. Elmo points out this church of St. Cuthbert and that it’s a new faith. There’s also this old faith that’s run by some guy who lives in the woods. I bet he knows the Robin Hood knock-off. Speaking of which, I met a guy at the inn who had similar clothes if I remember correctly?
We ask for more info about all of this, and Elmo says he’ll trade news for treasure. I would feel bad about giving him financial support for his drinking habit, but it’s hard to find good fighters these days. He seems to have some sort of mutual understanding with the bartender, which I find rather odd. If information is as valuable as gold in this town, I should start bribing the bartender. I bet he has overheard some interesting things from drunks.
Elmo must have had a bunny attack him when he was younger because he has some serious emotions to process about bunnies. The fluff ball must’ve climbed out of the nine hells themselves and demanded his soul for him to be like this. Despite everything, he has channeled his trauma into art. It’s just a shame that the art really isn’t that good. If you’re going to have emotional outbursts like that, you might as well make a profit off of them. Maybe someone will buy them if he becomes one of those “tortured artists”? I think the vendors talked about a gnome or someone riding a giant rabbit at one point. Maybe I’ll have him chase Elmo around for a little bit. New business idea: profit off of Elmo’s childhood trauma of bunnies.
For some reason, someone thought it was a good idea to go visit some cabinet makers. I think they knew that there were some carpenters in our group? Our carpenters are just very interested in doors, but to be fair, cabinets are just mini doors if you really think about it. If they did know that we had carpenters in our group, I’m glad they decided to keep it civil. I doubt committing arson to a shop that’s somewhat close to a church is a good look. When I die, a bunny may drag my soul to hell.
Anyways, the bard asked to have a snake painted on his flute, but he decided against it due to it taking too much time. He should’ve casted an illusion on his flute to have a snake on it. A snake illusion would work quite well against rabbits.
Elmo takes us to the brewer for an excuse to day drink, which I’m fine with because it’s never a bad idea to have some liquid courage before heading into danger. Then, we sell some stones, a dagger, a chain, and an ivory box for a decent amount of coin to a guy with two hellhounds. They probably chased the bunnies out of hell, and now they’re domesticated.
We go to the traders, and they don’t have a single book on the town’s history or on some of these faiths. I don’t like the traders, but maybe that’s because I just tend to not like people in general. I also don’t trust the majority of the people that we’ve met so far. For example, we tossed one of our hostages to a wizard, and we haven’t heard anything about what happened with that yet. The wizard, BURNE, seems a little too eager for information. I wonder if he changed his name when this whole elemental nonsense happened just to fit the aesthetic. I’ll investigate and have a chat with him soon.
If Elmo keeps whistling during these little strolls to the moathouse, I might poison his ale at some point. Actually, I’m sure his liver is so strong that it’ll process any poison without a problem. He tries to talk to the mule at one point, but the mule is even annoyed by the whistling.
We get to the moathouse, and we investigate some noises upstairs because that’s a thing we’ve been doing now I guess. An adventurer's lifespan would be significantly longer if they just ignored some noises here and there. Low and behold, rats spill out of the hallway. I cast an illusion of a giant snake, and the only name I could think of was “Steve.” This choice will haunt me for eons to come. Maeve is still drunk from earlier apparently and throws an ax at Elmo. It was hilarious. She can handle weapons, but not her liquor.
We kill the rats and find a flask of oil. I’m surprised Elmo didn’t immediately start chugging the flask, but he was able to find the restraint. We find a set of stairs, so I send Steve down them. I don’t trust the structural integrity of this building. Everything seems fine at first, but then Rufio starts growling and barking at something. We decide to take the subtle and tactical approach by throwing a lit molotov cocktail, and two large slime balls fall from the ceiling. They immediately burn, and the place smells even worse than before. As if we haven’t made enough poor choices today, we go downstairs…
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