From the shadows, I watch as the group of adventurers, so full of self-importance, bumbles into the Moat House. Their leader wastes time with a pointless marching order and roll call. They are so predictable, so easily manipulated with their petty squabbles over character quirks.
I revel in their small victories and setbacks. They defeated a group of bugbears and gnolls. A small win, but their arrogance grows. I delight in their bickering about experience points and weapon specializations. They are so focused on the minutia, they are blind to the grand design I have in store.
They fuss over a wounded companion named Melissa, who is out of commission for three weeks. The group debates whether to abandon or save her. Eventually, their 'moral' compass guides them to heal her. It is a temporary setback, but they'll be back to their selfish ways in no time. They leave her in a side room, as if that will keep her safe.
Their greed is a useful tool. They return to the main room to loot the bodies of their defeated foes. They are like vultures, squabbling over armor and weapons, and they carry it off into a side room. Such short-sighted creatures. They squabble about the best path to take through the Moat House. The idea of a hidden side door appeals to them. They must think they are clever.
They bicker and delay while deciding if they should go the way of the undead or the hidden side door. While they do so, they search the rooms, concerned about flanking attacks. One of them, JT, the fool, must explore a room called the "spider room," though it is a pointless side quest for such a predictable group. They are easily distracted.
My attention drifts to the map of the Moat House. I see the path they have chosen, and I chuckle. They proceed to the ogre room. There, they listen at a door and then step inside. It is dark and empty. They stumble into a room with a dead bird. How pathetic. Then, they go into a stinky room that makes one of them sick. The others laugh. Such simple pleasures for these adventurers.
The fools finally descend deeper into the dungeon, completely unaware of the traps I have laid. They move into a hallway and then into a room with a camouflaged cage in the ceiling. The group moves under the cage, as if there is no risk, and then moves out to examine another side room. How easy they are to manipulate. They are so predictable, and then they keep going. The cage is set up to drop on them if they are not careful. They are so caught up in themselves that they fail to see what I want them to see.
They move into a big room with three doors and a passageway. They discuss which way they should go. They look for secret doors and traps. It is such a waste of time. One of them, Crassus, has a modicum of skill at disarming traps. Still, it doesn't matter. He is still a tool to be used.
The group goes on a patrol around the room and is satisfied that there is nothing of interest. They talk about what type of floor is in the room. How idiotic. They light new torches and move towards the doors. One of them, JT, is clearly out of control. They open a door to an empty room. They tap the floor with a pole, as if that will save them. Another door, and they hear a clanking sound. It is the sound of a trap being reset. They never learn.
They are so focused on the small things, they do not see the larger threat. They open a third door and discover a secret passage. As they move to reset the cage trap in the hallway, they become divided. Some move back down the hallway and some go to look down the passageway. They are becoming exactly as I want them to be, distracted and divided.
Finally, they face the zombies. Their initial attack is strong, but they are divided. And they are stupid. As they throw oil on the zombies and attack them, I am pleased. This will be their downfall. One of them, JT, falls in the first round. They bicker about tactics. They have no idea what they are up against, or what they will soon face.
Their "heroics" are simply pathetic. They manage to defeat a few zombies, but at what cost?. It is a small victory in a larger war, and they do not yet realize they have already lost. Their game is almost up, and I look forward to the next act, because they will be coming for me, whether they know it or not.
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