Well now, gather 'round, you little sparrows, for old Vilma's got a tale for ya, fresh as a daisy – though maybe a slightly moldy one, know what I mean? Seems our brave (or maybe just bewildered) adventurers were at it again in that dusty old barrel maze on the 27th day of… well, the year the chickens started laying square eggs, or thereabouts.
They were fiddling with that contraption, that Roll Twenty, right there in their Discord doohickey. Sounded like they were trying to wrangle spirits into their talking boxes. Knuck couldn't even log in at first! Then they were all clicking and joining, trying to see maps right there on their glowy screens. Fancy that! Back in my day, maps were drawn on parchment, and if you wanted to see 'em, you had to hold 'em right-side up yourself. None of this clicky-clacky business.
They were deep in the maze, somewhere around day seventeen of Patchwall, if you can believe such things. Sounded like they were in the middle of a barrel maze, which, let me tell you, is just asking for trouble. Barrels rolling every which way, probably full of who-knows-what. My Cousin Clem once found a whole nest of grumpy earwigs in a barrel. But these weren't worried about earwigs, oh no.
First thing they did was poke around some old archway. Now, archways can be funny things. Sometimes they whisper secrets, sometimes they just give you a draft. This one… well, it seemed to have a mind of its own last time they went through. But this time, when Callback – that one with the peculiar smell, you know the one – went through, nothin' happened to him. Not a thing! Though the fella narrating did have a giggle about a pig getting turned inside out. Don't ask me.
Then they went tippy-tapping down hallways with a ten-foot pole. Always a good idea. You never know what's lurking in those shadows. They found some rooms with bits and pieces of bodies. Skulls and ribs and such. Looked like somethin' had a good old munch. Gives you the shivers, don't it?
One room smelled somethin' fierce. Not good fierce, mind you, the kind that makes your nose hairs curl up and run away. Callback, bless his curious heart (or maybe his addled brain), had to go peekin'. Found some trash and bits. Then he borrowed a light and went right in. Found piles of somethin'. Turns out it was a slumped mass of rot in the corner, with flies buzzing and things shiftin' underneath. Then it popped and sprayed goo all over Callback! Oh, he was a mess, covered in stench. Tried washin' with his waterskin, but it just made him wet, sticky, and stinkier. Serves him right for pokin' his nose where it don't belong, if you ask me.
Then came the archway again! They went back through it, and wouldn't you know it? All that nasty stink vanished from Callback! Not only that, he smelled pleasant, like an oil prince. His hair was combed, his clothes were clean, even his boots were polished. Like he'd just come from a spa day! All the lady adventurers were lookin' at him different. It's like a shell peeled off him, they said. Odd as a three-legged cat, I tell you.
They stumbled upon a familiar room with a big pointy obelisk. Seemed like they'd knocked it over before. Gives you a bad feeling, those obelisks. They just stand there, judgin'. Nora, bless her cautious soul, didn't want to go any further. So they backtracked again.
Then they got themselves in a real pickle. They opened a sarcophagus, and out popped a cadaverous creature covered in green worms! Ugh! Gave everyone the frights. Callback and Arin ran off screamin'. Even Cairo and Nikki took off like startled rabbits. Feno joined in the fleein' too. Only Dwaram and Nora had the gumption to stand their ground.
There was a lot of fuss about savin' throws and initiatives. Sounded like a right kerfuffle. Los chucked a vial of oil at the wormy thing, then lit it with her candle. Missed the first time! But then she swung her staff and whacked that creature good! It crumbled into a puddle of slime. Good riddance, I say!
Poor Los got some of those worms on her too. Nora had to take her torch and burn 'em right off! Gave her a bit of a burn, but better than having worms wrigglin' under your skin, eh?
Then Nikki, while runnin' fit to burst, started castin' a cure disease spell on Callback. Took a good while, but it worked! Them nasty worms popped and dissolved. He was healed, though still had a faint whiff of rot along with his good smell. Queer business, this barrel maze.
Arin, meanwhile, was grabbin' a gold necklace from the sarcophagus. Never let a good treasure go to waste, that one.
After all that hullabaloo, they regrouped, wonderin' which way to go. Seemed like east was the preferred direction. Found a room with more piles of bones. Then they heard noises from the east. Ominous, I tell you.
Los, never one to shy away from a bit of… well, oddness, licked her finger to check for a breeze. Bless her heart. Then she tossed her last bit of oil on a jagged mound of rusty tools and bones, and set it alight with her torch. Up popped a mournful apparition that just looked at them and then vanished as the bones burned to slag.
Well, that’s where they left it for the night. Sounds like another grand adventure in that topsy-turvy barrel maze. You never know what those youngsters will get up to next! And between you and me, I wouldn't be surprised if that archway has more tricks up its stony sleeve. Keep your ears peeled, little sparrows, Vilma will have more tales before you know it!
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